(Scott) Is this snowboarder guy someone I should know?
(Scott) Harvey Keitel?
(Joe) If you followed the last Winter Olympics. He was the one that didn't suck ass and whose cousin did not shoot a cop.
(Joe) You're thirty minutes away. I'll be there in ten.
(Joe) Day zero?
(Scott) I care about as much about Chloe and Morris as I do about the Winter Olympics.
(Scott) 5:40
(Scott) Epilogue to follow.
(Scott) Along with a twist ending, I'm sure.
(Joe) Jack and his wife splurge on a Blizzard(TM) on the way home from the outlet mall.
(Joe) The Joint Chiefs? They've been asleep. Did you need them? You've never been in the Situation Room.
(Joe) "Allright, Tom. Take care of that for me."
(Scott) Ok, so Bill Buchanan may not be a mole after all . . .
(Joe) You called it.
(Scott) I can only console myself on having been right about so many other things.
(Scott) For example . . .
(Scott) Perhaps a pregnancy . . .
(Scott) There it is . . .
(Scott) I'll be a great drunk father. I have tons of Altoids.
(Joe) By the way, you should use some of those Altoids.
(Scott) She's being held in a basement?
(Joe) Steam. Pipe. Trunk. Distribution. Venue.
(Joe) And the Chinese kidnap Karen!
(Scott) 24 writers should avoid intentional humor.
(Scott) Here's your mother who we lied to and held her without justification.
(Joe) He must have run away. We weren't going to trade him for a chip of dubious value.
(Scott) Still 15 minutes to go . . .
(Joe) No, I think you should have said "Jack fell into the ocean. Probably dead."
(Scott) We'll never find him . . . but I suspect Tank Glynn may contact us one day.
(Scott) Heller . . .
(Joe) Spidey Sense(TM) music.
(Scott) Bauer gets the drop on him . . .
(Joe) Still wet?
(Scott) Hopefully it's sweat.
(Scott) This will end like a Frankenstein movie, I bet.
(Joe) Kim is just fine. Well, okay, she's ruined. Uh, Tony? No. Michelle? Nope. Uh. Curtis is still alive. Okay, we don't talk anymore.
(Scott) The only thing I've ever done is what you and people like you asked me to. And then there were the other times where I substituted my own judgement.
(Joe) He's very contrite looking at a silenced pistol.
(Joe) "I want my life back, and I want it now."
(Joe) He hee hee.
(Joe) "LIKE YOUR WIFE DID"
(Scott) Had to play the wife card . . .
(Joe) Snap.
(Scott) That wasn't even remotely his fault.
(Joe) She's probably sleeping. Or detoxing.
(Joe) Ex-Chinese prisoners get to go home within a few hours?
(Joe) Behind you.
(Joe) Behind you.
(Joe) Behind you. (not a duplicate)
(Scott) Too easy. More likely she'll freak out at his sight.
(Joe) "I'm at a crossroads."
(Joe) Look for a Britney Spears-themed road trip movie.
(Scott) She's a robot!
(Joe) By the way, over the last 548 days, 547 have been in a Chinese torture camp. I might change my mind.
(Scott) Ok, so you were right.
(Scott) She's better off in her hospital bed.
(Scott) Nice house. I bet it's from defense contract kick backs.
(Joe) Silent countdown.
(Scott) And that's the whole thing . . . finally.
(Joe) And there it is.
(Scott) Ok, no wrap up from me. I'm on the verge of illness or food poisoning or something.
(Scott) Surely there will be no previews for next season . . .
(Joe) Like a warm blanket. Time for us to start mapping out character arcs for next season. And watch a monkey wiping its ass on a car tire for twenty-four hours next season.
(Joe) Should have washed the eggplant.