(Scott) You can set Nicholas Cage on fire, but you can't make him interesting . . .
(Joe) I used to think that Nick Cage picked stupid movies. Boy was I wrong!
(Joe) I predict Ian Ziering will have his house taken over by highly-trained assassins.
(Joe) Or Brian Austin Green.
(Joe) Or Cheech and Chong.
(Joe) 'Wait, let me see that 30's spanish-style ranch again.'
(Joe) Again, Jack Bauer and pretty ponies in a field selling diamonds don't mix.
(Joe) If they turn out to be unicorns...
(Scott) Seriously, they're just shiney rocks, folks.
(Scott) Think Quartz, but smaller.
(Joe) Tony Almeda comes back at the end of this episode.
(Scott) Yeah, I don't care much for kids either.
(Scott) I mean get off the tracks . . . stupid kids.
(Joe) You know how many AK-47s you have to trade for a single bag of uncut diamons, straight from the slave labor mines?
(Joe) A lot.
(Scott) 2:43
(Joe) It says 'I love you' more than a stuffed bear.
(Joe) I [heart] DeBeers.
(Scott) Heh, everyone knows you're not really hurt Morris. I mean, a drill in the shoulder? Come on . ..
(Joe) Chloe needs to hire an eye makeup specialist.
(Joe) So does Morris.
(Scott) 2:44
(Scott) They use this box truck way too much.
(Joe) Stop feeling bad about putting millions of people at risk of almost certain annihilation and get back to work!
(Scott) Hazmat
(Joe) Yep, definitely the love interest.
(Scott) Swat
(Scott) Whatever Milo's doing.
(Joe) No, I enlisted in the military because I enjoy killing and nearly being killed.
(Joe) Have you met me?
(Joe) "Graham's death was not an accident. I killed him."
(Scott) Wow, Jack is exactly like his father.
(Scott) That was the worst "Thank you Susan" ever.
(Scott) Ricky Schroder just looks like a pansy.
(Scott) Yeah kid . . . we're going to have to get a hotel room.
(Scott) We can play games and whatnot.
(Scott) Seriously, driving around LA, looking for a house . . .
(Scott) Jack could just kill random people and have a better shot at this . . .
(Scott) 2:49
(Joe) Little Ricky may be a pansy, but since he's Jack's son he's got the seed of a killing machine buried under years of ballet classes, bluetooth accessories and mocha lattes.