(Joe) Unbelievable Prison Break. This is only serving to train our children to shoot people on sight and not talking them to death first.
(Scott) You'd think they would have learned from watching people not kill Jack Bauer.
(Scott) According to Verizon's ad about their reliability, they fail on almost 1.2 million calls everyday.
(Scott) T-bag looks like he's late for class on the first day of school.
(Joe) Step One: Buy a dinghy and some paint...
(Joe) First the cut was small... then it got red... then it started to smell... then it turned black... The doctor said it might be infected.
(Scott) Bathe in neosporin, or your child will not live out the year.
(Joe) After only one drink, your ability to find a drone decreases by 100 yards...
(Joe) He's 'fighting' a stall.
(Joe) (Did you see him straining against the joystick. Priceless.)
(Scott) More radiation poisoning . . . this really is season two all over again.
(Scott) It was one of the joysticks that gives the physical feedback
(Scott) Seems like a poor choice.
(Joe) Go through their databases.
(Scott) The following takes place between 8:00 PM and 9:00 PM.
(Scott) Looking for Grandenko to prevent a trigger-happy president.
(Joe) Can't terrorists take some tips off Marwan. Armani, mock turtlenecks, etc.
(Scott) Gradenko and the other guy are hiding in a storage bin?
(Joe) These guys look like boxcar hobos.
(Joe) I HAVE THE BOMBS!
(Scott) This is going to turn out to be like one of those buddy terrorist movies.
(Scott) They'll learn to get along when they realize that both of them have a love for destroying civilization.
(Joe) I'm the only one who can give you the targets you want: (a.k.a., Nancy Pelosi's district.)
(Scott) I doubt that arms dealers offer much in the way of money-back guarantees.
(Joe) Gradenko is clearly not Tango.
(Scott) New plot point . . .
(Scott) What have we dropped so far?
(Joe) "I need you to access some files from my office."
(Scott) He's going to access files from the office mainframe?
(Scott) There are a lot more mainframes on 24 than I've worked with in the last 10 years.
(Joe) Transferred to a holding station?
(Scott) Why can't Milo wear his watch like a standup guy?
(Scott) Houser?
(Scott) The call was scrambled . . .
(Joe) "Unfortunately the call was scrambled."
(Scott) Remote access module.
(Scott) Nadia did install spyware!
(Scott) Stupid flight simulator games.
(Scott) Ricky Schroder is going to learn a valuable lesson from all of this.
(Joe) Okay, one of the radical websites Nadia was monitoring triggered the specialty hardware. Yeah, sounds believable to me. But then again, I'm Hauser's brother.
(Scott) Bunch of guys with helmets on the move. Casualties to follow.
(Scott) By the way every programmer I've know is just like Houser's brother.
(Scott) Some are better spoken.
(Joe) Commercial for 24 viewers: Ladies shorts.