(Scott) Little Ricky bled.
(Scott) So that was something.
(Scott) Also, everything on the show is a decoy.
(Scott) Just like on LOST.
(Scott) And Jack Killed a polar bear.
(Scott) Ooh, good call on the Chinese thing. It's exactly the same trick.
(Joe) It would have been great if Fayed was rescued by an IRA splinter group. Or a cadre of clowns. (A coven? A pride?)
(Scott) A hump
(Scott) 10:??
(Scott) Bill Buchanan on the phone . . .
(Joe) Those guys had the redundant login problem so they weren't doing anything anyway...
(Scott) What? You tricked Fayyad? We just tricked the Generic Islamic Republic of Perabia. What a coincidence.
(Joe) Mr. President, I think Bill Buchanan is tricking you. Clearly, Bill Buchanan doesn't know he's dead.
(Scott) If Jack Bauer says torture (which uncategorically denounce) won't work, then it won't work. We'll stick with the Scooby Doo tricks for now.
(Scott) How often can you fake a nuclear missile launch and have the target thank you later?
(Joe) "I resent your tone."
(Scott) The General is not giving in to our interrogation. Maybe we can trick them some how.
(Scott) Ha! Staging the killing of a terrorist's family. This is totally season 2 again.
(Joe) The Saudi^H^H^H^H^H Perturbian ambassador is shocked at allegations of barbarism.
(Joe) 'Duh, I don't have level five security clearance.'
(Scott) Uplink the proprietary channel on the something something B.
(Scott) Doyle may not be as bad as you think he is. I mean, have you seen him dance? And he has a huge toy train.
(Joe) A lot of shows have a 'bible' they use to maintain consistency. You know, from one episode to the next. One of the many tips you can get if Scott and I were hired as 'consultants'. Also, craft services will need to provide a steady stream of authentic Japanese food. Like Kayo.
(Joe) "Why are you using a cell phone, General?"
(Scott) And pork barbeque
(Scott) He says he can't talk long, he has blood streaming through his sinus cavities.
(Joe) Great, cut him off. Before he gets smarmy.
(Scott) Jamal is definitely getting shot. There's no other way for this to work out.
(Scott) HAI-mal
(Joe) "Mr. President, are you feeling all right?"
(Scott) Give the president ephinedrine . . . stat!
(Joe) Quick, find the President a robotic exoskeleton.
(Scott) Can some please put me back in a coma?
(Joe) M.A.N.T.I.S., we hardly knew ye.