When I first read that Jack Bauer signed a production deal with FOX to make a TV series, movies, and what not, I thought "Hey, that's great. More Jack Bauer is good, right?" It took me a little while on this, but then I finally realized the person who signed the production deal is actually some guy named Kiefer Sutherland. Turns out he's the son of the guy from Kelly's Heroes and an all around ne'er do well.

So what should we expect from this Sutherland character? Well, a good place to start might be with his directorial debut in Truth or Consequences, N.M. (tagline, "Life's a Bitch. Why Behave?"). A couple of weeks ago, I sat down to watch this film, and I have to say I am in awe. Kiefer Sutherland plays a less competent and more hot-headed version of Jack Bauer, but with a mullet and a mustache. Basically, he yells a lot, gets drunk, and points his gun around for no good reason. Somewhere along the way Kiefer and his gang of thugs abduct Kevin Pollack (who you'll remember from The Aristocrats) and Kim Dickens (who you'll look forward to in the role of Rambo's Wife in Rambo IV). After about five minutes of screen time for any given character, you realize you have no sympathy for that individual. Long story short, by the end you realize that the protagonists are actually the two gang members who love each other and are trying to start a better life or something of the sort (honestly, it's really not clear exactly what's going on). Picture Bonnie and Clyde but without the good parts. Oh, and Martin Sheen shows up for no other reason than to torture this guy.

If you're looking for edge of your seat drama with implausible technology references and boring scenes with a tediously dull president and his batshit crazy first lady, this production deal may not be all you think it is. On the other hand, if you like the mullets, you've got three years of grooviness heading your way . . .