Ok, so here we go, Jim Webb v. George Allen brought to you by the League of Women Voters. And they actually have a credit sequence type thing. Neat.

Russ Mitchell moderating . . .

Mentions how many stations that the debate is televised on. Doesn't mention that NBC is showing Deal or No Deal.

And we're off with the opening statements . . .

-George Allen starts off hitting the expected points: John Warner, low taxes, efficient government and the what not.
-Allen says Webb stands with Hillary Clinton and the forces of darkness (I stepped away and missed a lot of it, but it's my best guess).
-Webb's statement: There's only one person up here who's raised taxes and that's George Allen. Damn.
-What's this? Jim Webb talking about social inequality? If he's not careful someone's going to think he's a Democrat.
-Webb's statement is basically about the poor and health care. Nothing on Iraq. That's a change of pace.

Questions . . .
-To Allen, are we losing the war in Iraq? Allen talks about manical terrorists and the what not. Makes the effort to link himself to John Warner.
-Webb's response: Links himself to John Warner and Jim Baker. Speaks against propagandistic statements.
-For anyone who doesn't live in Virginia, John Warner is essentially Forrest Gump. Everyone want's to be on Forest Gump's side.
-Question to Webb: What would you different in Iraq. John Kerry, take notes. The correct answer isn't going to be nothing different. Webb basically says that we should make sure to let the Iraqis know that we don't want to be there permanently.
-Allen says that American is not occupying Iraq, but liberating them.

And we're on to Macaca . . .
-Question to Allen: are you a racist? Allen points to his record as governor. May not want to go that direction George. Remember that whole noose thing? Oh, and then the whole 'free at last' thing, that was in poor taste. But keep moving . . .
-And Allen goes on to say that he has several black friends.
-Webb takes a pass on labelling Allen a racist, and goes on to say he also has many black friends.
-Allen now has no recollection of using racial slurs 20 years ago. Then he goes on to say he has several hispanic friends as well.

Next topic: Misogyny (that's you Jim).
-Webb says he loves the women. In fact some of his best friends are dames.
-Allen is proud of his record on women. He's become quite the egalatarian recently.
-Question to Webb: what do you think about women in combat. Webb doesn't really answer the question, but says the chicks are alright.

Questions from the panelists:

-To George Allen: A question about the secrecy prevalent in the government. Allen wants more information online. Allen wants to put information about spending and appropriations bills on the Internet, and he attacks Ted Stevens bridge to nowhere. Holy crap, that's the most consecutive points with which I've ever agreed with George Allen. Not sure he answered the question though.
-Webb responds that the secrecy is due to the weakness of the Democrats. Can't really argue with that.

-To Webb: Gay marriage ban. Yea or nay. Webb isn't for marriage for gays but he wants unmarried men and women to live in sin.
-Allen puts forward the proposition that children of gay parents will have no manners. Probably will throw around racial slurs

-Next question is about immigration. Allen brings up his mother who may or may not be an immigrant. Also, he is against the guest worker program.
-Not to ignore Webb's response, but his head doesn't give the appearance of being attached to his shoulders in a traditional sense.

Hey! Someone's bringing up the deficit and debt . . .

-Webb: Debt makes us insecure, especially when borrowing from China. Wow, Webb says that China is potentially our greatest adversary. Interesting. Webb goes on to talk about pay as you go policy.
-Allen: Anti-China. Anti-new spending. Etc.

We're going to owe so much money . . .

Next question: What about the bio-diesel?

-Allen touts his newfound credentials as a supporter of alternative energy. Mentions celluosic matter in much the same way as our president would.
-Webb brings up the fact that George Allen is a new convert to the whole no blood for oil ideology. And then mentions that some of his best friends are environmentalists.


Affirmative action . . .

-Webb sticks by his point that blacks are the only ethnic group that have been discriminated against for generations. Somewhere a Cherokee shrugs.
-Allen brings up the native american thing. And he's suddenly become pro-affirmative action? When did that happen?

Lightning round! Candidates get to ask each other questions:

-Allen asks a long question about why Webb hates tax cuts. Almost gets into an argument when the moderator cuts him off. Webb answers that the tax cuts are unfair to the poor and what not.
-And now we're getting contentious. Can't really describe this, but it's quite an arguement. Read the transcript on this one. [Ed. seriously, this was the highlight of the debate.]

-Webb to Allen: How can you vote to raise your own salary but not the minimum wage.
-Allen answers that he has voted for minimum wage and once even voted against a Senate raise.
-Allen goes on to say that Hillary, Ted, and the gang of red stopped the minimum raise increase.
-And somehow we've gotten to the estate/death tax.
-Allen is hitting hard on this point that the Bush tax cuts benefited 3 million people in Virginia. He may not be aware that Virginia has 8 million residents.

-Allen to Webb: Sept 11. Do you hate America? Actually it's a question about warrantless wiretaps and whether Webb stands with George Bush or that pinko Arlen Specter (is Arlen even a man's name?).
-Webb basically says that congress should have oversite and something odd about Colin Powell.
-Heh, Allen's pretty smart. Asks two complicated questions. Webb has time to answer the first, Allen calls him a coward for not anwsering the second.

-Webb to Allen: And Webb brings plays his own trick card. He asks George Allen an obscure geography question. I won't even try to spell what he said. That's great. Granted, it does show Allen to be a little bit on the light side in foreign policy, but no one understood a word he said.

Next topic: Mark Foley
-Webb: Kind of rambles a bit and says that he hasn't really followed the issue.
-Allen: Foley is terrible, but Hastert is ok.


Closing statements . . .

-Allen: Susan and I thank you for letting us serve you. Re-elect me and I'll be the best darn senator ever. Tax cuts. No blood for oil. Tax cuts. Experience. No tax increases. Warrantless wiretaps, hooray. Habeus corpus, boo. John Warner likes me. Your future is on the line.

Webb: John Warner likes me too. Allen is absurd. This is a referendum on Bush. Come back to us Democrats, please. Republicans have lost their way. Come home Bill Bailey. Speak for the powerless, not the lobbiests. Bizarre, he actually sounds like a Democrat. Somewhere Harris Miller shrugs.


And that's the show. I think CBS should pick this up as a mid-season replacement. Eventually, each candidate might realize that the other isn't so bad after all. Then they could get all of their black, latino, and women friends together and have a party.