I vote a lot. Whether it's in general elections, local elections, Republican primaries, or Democratic primaries, I get at least a couple of free stickers every year. From voting in the primaries of both major parties, I tend to get a lot of campaign literature sent to me each election. So, I thought it would be interesting to review what I get from each candidate to see what message they want to get across to a likely voter in Southwest Virginia.

It's still relatively early yet, so my mailbox has been nearly empty thus far. A couple of weeks ago, I did receive one mailing from the Allen campaign that's worth discussing. It's an 8.5 x 11 document (too big to be a brochure, really) that folds out into two sheets.

On page one (of four), we have a nice, large picture of George Allen standing a podium smiling, with his admiring wife looking on. Above the picture is the URL to Allen's campaign site (www.GeorgeAllen.com), below it is the theme for this mailing: turns out George Allen is consistent, conservative, and has common sense. Interestingly, throughout the mailer, Allen is referred to as "Our Senator George Allen." Not sure what they're going for with that one (I keep thinking Our Gang).

On page two, next to a picture of what I assume is the Allen family on vacation at the lake (someone needs to show his son how to tuck in a shirt tail and use the buttons on that shirt), is a brief note from the Senator explaining the "three C's of governing: be Consistent, uphold our Conservative values, and make Common sense decisions to improve our quality of life." Not sure who the "our" refers to who will have their quality of life improved, but it is next to the Allen family posing in front of a lake front property.

Page three is more of the same, but prosier. Basically, he breaks down the whole 3C thing a little further. In a nutshell . . .

• Consistent: Low taxes, no gay marriage, support the troops (except the gays, of course).


• Conservative: Small government, low taxes, line item veto for the president (ack!), cut waste and what not. Also, Allen wants to force Congress to pass appropriation bills on time "otherwise their paychecks will be withheld until Congress does its job." Yeah that will do the trick. Congress is generally a pretty poverty stricken group, living from paycheck-to-paycheck. If their paychecks are withheld while they're trying to get in an earmark for industry for which they'll be working as a lobbyist in a couple of years, they may have to sell the family lake house just to make ends meet.


• Common sense: This is pretty much limited to small class size and no more parole. If the no parole thing were extended to minors, I suppose one could lead to the other.

At the bottom of the page we have a few more pictures: Our Senator George Allen with his wife, Allen staring at a computer with a black child, a young, awkward looking Allen standing with the ever popular Ronald Reagan, and the Allen speaking with a soldier who may very well be picking his nose (at first glance it looked like the soldier was subtlety flipping him off, so it could be worse . . . ).

And finally, on page 4, they bring it all home with a checkbox list (all checked) of things that you should look for in a Senator. Pretty much the Republican grocery list: War on terror, no illegal immigration, gun rights, no gay marriage, judges shouldn't invent laws. And our final picture is of George Allen doing his best impression of a constipated Mr. McGoo (you'd have to see it).

Do you like what you see? If so, there's a form that you can send back in (on your own stamp!) to let Our Senator George Allen know how you'll support him. Here are your options:

• Put a sign in your yard.


• Place a sticker on your car.


• Distribute literature (T.S. Eliot, most likely).


• Make phone calls.


• Volunteer at a campaign office.


• Host an event.


• Walk in a parade (preferably by drawing a face on your belly and wearing a hat mask on your head -- the kids love that kind of thing).


• Contact your neighbors (bring along copies of The Watchtower while you're at it -- the neighbors love that kind of thing).

And that's pretty much it. To sum up, the message from Allen is . . .

• Check out my Web site.


• I'm married! And not to some guy either . . .


• I'm consistent (except that whole calling that guy Macaca).


• I'm conservative.


• I use common sense (again, excluding the whole Macaca thing).


• The three things I am all start with the same letter. That's cool, huh?


• Look at me! I'm touching a black kid!


• Have you seen my family? Here we are at the lake.


• Reagan likes me better.

Assuming I get more mailings, I'll discuss them here. Jim Webb is running a pretty low-rent campaign, so I'm not expecting much from him. So far, the score is:

Our Senator George Allen: 1
Jim Webb: 0