1. He rode in the passenger seat for most of the trip there, so I hope he wiped down everything.
2. Ooh, 60% of the hard disk buffer, which I'm pretty sure goes away after the machine is turned off. I'm definitely sure it goes away after sitting at the bottom of a river.
3. "Sure, I don't see any reason why my sweaty, inmate-looking brother can't go through the security check... I'm in college. Look at my cap."
4. "What the hell'd you do to yaw haand?"
5. No TiVo, but I'd hope that military URL is close to real.
6. "His name's Grandpa." Hilarious. I like how he refuses to rip hands off or otherwise resort to fisticuffs.