I liked the flame thrower bit.
I gotta merge some files. I gotta run a sort. I gotta run a merge sort.
Nina Myers, George Mason, Anthony Mason, whatever.
"You and me, we go way back. Remember that weekend at the B&B in Vermont? Are we still married by the way. I'm still wearing the ring."
He opens the way too hi-tech clipboard to reveal... a cobra!
Ah, under the floor. What a badass.

Police are partially to blame: They should have outlawed Wal-Mart. Five dollar washing machines, I mean, come on.